Apparently you make a good broom.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
