apparently the secret to your success is patron
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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