We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
