you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
