Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
