You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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