I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
