dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize