"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
