Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
