I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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