this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
