How'd it feel making her break her religion?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
