i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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