I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
