Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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