susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
