My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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