so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
