You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
