I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well I just put wine in my tea
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
