he thought i was a dude.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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