Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
