I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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