but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
