THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize