he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
