You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
