hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
