Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
