wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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