how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
