Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize