There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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