So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
