we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
