how hairy? two words: wookie tits
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I want to be your penis for a week.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You're a disaster
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