Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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