I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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