She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Drake has all the answers
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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