If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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