Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
