Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
