Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
