I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
