singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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