I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
