Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You made out with two different species that night
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
