is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
