Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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