I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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