i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
