You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
