Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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