I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
