i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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