i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
